Befriending Your Employees

Originally posted 3/26/11.

While trolling the internet for ideas to write about, I came across a blog called “Great Leadership” by Dan McCarthy.  I was immediately sucked in.  He was writing about a subject close to my heart (leadership) and his latest blog post about how managers and employees cannot be friends is a topic I have found to be particularly challenging during my time as both an employee and a manager.  During my ten years in the professional world, I’ve had several managers.  I have blogged about my first professional manager before, who was both a leader and a role model.  Interestingly, she has also developed into a close personal friend and professional mentor, and we still keep in touch on a monthly basis.  I’ve had several iron-fisted, micro-managers.  Not only did those relationships not last long, but the idea of being “friends” with these people was utterly repugnant.  I didn’t want to spend a minute with the guy (either of them) at work, much less outside of work.

I’ve also had managers who tried too hard to be my friend, and in doing so created a relationship that only made it more difficult when it came to professional reviews, coaching and the inevitable discomfort that came when I moved on professionally.  The manager in question was a good friend, but she made our relationship too personal, so when I was promoted to manager myself, she felt personally affronted, as if I no longer wanted to work with her.  That wasn’t the case, but I couldn’t convince her of that fact.

When I became a manager, I often felt I had to carefully balance the line between being friendly and personal with my employees and being professional.  I wonder, now, what they would say about how I managed them.  I know at the time, they told me that I was an exceptional leader and that I helped turn around struggling bank branches from underperformers to successful in both sales and employee development.  I always tried to meaningfully connect with my employees and to let them know that I was looking out for their best interests.  My goals were always to put the development of my employees first, and the results always followed.  Every single struggling branch I managed, I found that my employees were under-trained, overworked and directionless during the work day.  I found that by taking the time to personally train them to make sure they developed the skills necessary to become successful, they became more comfortable with the products they were selling and were able to sell more successfully.  We always publicly celebrated their successes, which in turn made them work even harder.  Within a year, every underperformer I was assigned to was turned into a top performer.  It’s just that easy.

I have copied a part of McCarthy’s post below and would like to address his points with my own thoughts on how to avoid these pitfalls.

“There are at least 10 reasons why it’s a bad idea for a manager and employee to call themselves friends, including:

1. It will create a perception of favoritism. Even if you think you’re being 100% fair and un-biased, you’ll always be subject to being second guessed.”

2. You may not even realize it, but other employees are probably letting your “friends” get away with more, thinking that you’re going to protect them or side with them.

These first two points are absolutely true and can become a poison in your organization.  The “peanut gallery” will often seize upon any perceived favoritism to attack your credibility and try to bring you down.  Sadly, this is too often the norm in businesses where morale is low and management is not strong.  Favoritism, even perceived favoritism, can cause morale to sink rapidly and can cause the other employees to gang up on your so-called “favorite.”

Often the case in situations like these is that the “favorite” employee is also the top performer, someone with a great deal of potential who is probably a rising star.  The manager recognizes this and often pays more attention to the high performer, perhaps giving her or him the challenging projects which often come with a high degree of visibility.  This, in turn, causes the other employees to perceive that employee to be the manager’s favorite and this is where the  problems begin.

Here’s the thing, as a manager, you have to treat your employees fairly while still utilizing their talents.  Often, it only takes paying a little more attention to the average performers (or underperformers) to eliminate any perceived favoritism.  I recommend all managers spend 5-10 minutes a week and at least an hour once a quarter meeting with their direct reports to discuss outstanding issues, project pitfalls, development, goals and other issues that may come up.  These need to be open discussions where the employee feels at liberty to discuss anything without fear of reprisal or reprimand.  There needs to be completely open communication.

I did this at the third banking center I managed and during one of these sessions, an employee looked at me and point blank told me he looking for another job.  At first I was taken aback but instead of challenging him, I started a dialogue about why he would be looking for another job.  He was unsatisfied with his career path and was looking to get into a different industry after he completed his schooling.  It wasn’t that he was unhappy with his current position or that he did not like the company, but that in the long-term, he was not fulfilled by the work he was doing.  And you know what?  That was fine.  I appreciated that he was open and honest with me about it and despite being a solid performer, I knew that the career options we had available for him were limited.  Instead of firing him on the spot like many managers would have done, I put him in connection with some people in my network and helped put him on a path which fulfilled him.  Was it the best thing for my organization?  Actually, yes.  Instead of having a high-potential employee spinning his wheels or becoming resentful, I got another four months of great work out of him before he moved on AND I had the hiring process in place to replace him once he did leave the position.  Instead of being blindsided by him when he turned in his two-week notice, I was ready for it and we moved on without missing a beat.  His performace during the months after he told me about his job search were the best he had ever had, and it was because he came to work every day and felt connected instead of feeling as though he was keeping a secret.  It worked out fantastically for everyone involved.  All of this because he felt comfortable enough talking to me about his goals because we had regular daily, weekly and quarterly dialogue about him and his career goals.  This is the type of open, honest communication you should strive for in your organization.

I would like to address the rest of McCarthy’s post, but will have to do so at a later time.  For the sake of full disclosure, I have posted the rest of his points below.  Have a great day!

3. If you allow yourself to get emotionally attached to one employee – for whatever reason – but not another, those emotions will consciously or unconsciously influence decisions around raises, layoffs, assignments, promotions, etc….

4. If you see an employee as a “friend”, you’ll have expectations of that employee that are unrealistic or inappropriate for an employee. “Well gee, a friend would never do that, or should do that, or should tell me everything, etc…”

5. On the other hand, your friend employee may have expectations of you that are unrealistic or unprofessional, such as sharing confidential information, or always giving them advance notice, or doing special little “friendly” favors for them.

6. As a manager, part of your job is to judge your employees, to give constructive feedback, and sometimes to discipline them, even fire them. Does this sound like something a friend would do to another friend?

7. Although this threat never seems to scare managers, yes, it’s true – you and company could get sued. You are exposing yourself and your company to the risk of discrimination lawsuits. Don’t think it never happens… it does. That’s why HR people are so crazy about the issue – they are trying to protect your backside.

8. ALL employees need to complain about their bosses now and then, even the best managers. You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re immune from this. However, if you see your employees as friends, you’re more likely to take it personally.

9. Friends let their hair down outside of work and sometimes do silly things with each other. Managers are supposed to set examples and be role models. So, as a “manager-friend”, you’re either going to be a boring uptight, friend, or an unprofessional, immature manager. You pick. And oh by the way, your own manager may not appreciate those pictures of you and the gang all over employee Facebook pages.

Can you socialize with your employees? Or go out for a drink? Sure, but just make it a habit to stick to one drink and be the first to leave (to give them time to complain about you), or at least not the last to leave.

10. Some employees may find your attempts to be friends as personally intrusive, or inappropriate. They might even find your “advances” to be creating a hostile work environment, and again, exposing yourself and your company to that old lawsuit thing.

The Secret: What Great Leaders Know & Do

Originally posted 3/22/11.

I am currently reading Ken Blanchard’s book “The Secret: What Great Leaders Know and Do.”  It is a typical Blanchard book- long on idealism and easy solutions to complex problems, and short on overcoming obstacles and actual, real world situations.  I find Blanchard’s books to be almost fairy-tales in their setup, execution and swift, wrap-everything-up-in-a-bow mentality.  That is not to say Blanchard’s books are not valuable, far from it.  I wish more managers would take the time to read about becoming better managers.  In my fifteen years as an employee, I have had one manager who was truly great at developing people.  She was the first manager I ever had in the professional world and I modeled myself after her example.  She was also a disciple of these kinds of management books- we had FISH (another Blanchard staple) all over the walls of the employee break room and our daily and monthly meetings often revolved around team-building and setting goals.

Since leaving banking three years ago and moving into manufacturing, I have found there are fewer managers who I would consider great.  In fact, most have been downright average.  None have been bad managers by any stretch, but there have been few who were in any way inspiring to their employees.  Most of them come in, put in their 8-10 hours a day and go home.  They run around, put out fires and sit through meetings, but do nothing to help develop their employees or strengthen the team they are in charge of.  It is disappointing, really, to see so much human potential put to waste.

In my previous blog post, I talked about finding purpose in your job.  Too many managers don’t see the purpose in their jobs.  Their purpose is to inspire and lead their employees!  To help them achieve their goals and dreams.  Every single employee who comes to work has hopes and dreams.  They have goals and aspirations.  If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be coming into work every day.  It doesn’t matter if someone’s goal is to become CEO or make enough money to quit their job, it is the manager’s job to help them realize and work towards those goals.  How many people can say their manager has taken five minutes to talk to them about their goals and aspirations in the last month?  You’re probably nodding your head sadly because your manager hasn’t asked you about your goals since your last annual review.  And that is an absolute shame.

The War For Talent

Originally posted 3/19/2011.

I read this morning an article called “The War For Talent” discussing how difficult hiring has become for computer developers out in Silicone Valley, NYC and other tech hotspots around the country.  It is getting difficult enough to find and hire the best talent that companies have gone as far as twittering pictures of what a new developer gets on their first day on the job.  Here is one example:

This is the “new developer” setup at Tasty Labs, a social media company best known for it’s founder, Joshua Schachter, who founded Delicious before selling it to Yahoo and pocketing a cool $15 million.  I looked at that setup and immediately realized how completely forward Tasty was being with it’s workers, and how well it knew them that it had these thing set up for “Day One.”

First, the Macbook Air and 27” external display- the epitome of “cool” in those circles shows the potential programmer that the company is willing to spend on it’s employees and wants them to have the best hardware to do their work on.  The wireless keyboard, wireless mouse and iPhone all add to the enticing package, making potential employees drool over the “cool” factor alongside the “fun” factor that must be involved with a company who chooses all Apple products for it’s new employees.  I did the math, this setup probably costs around $2500 and as much as $3500 (depending on the options chosen) for each new employee the company hires.  For comparison’s sake, I did the math on the setup I received as a part of my first day on the job: Dell Optiplex 380 desktop and monitor: $325.  Desk phone from 1980 (I’m not kidding): It couldn’t have cost more than $10.  That’s pretty much it.

Now, I would like to consider myself a pretty valuable employee.  I show up early and work late, I am at the top of my group when it comes to productivity, development of the business, customer service and leadership, and still after 3 and a half years, I am relegated to hand-me-down hardware that was new in 2007 and a telephone that might as well have a rotary dial.  You might think that I am jealous (a little bit) or angry at my current employer (not at all).  The reason for this is that I love my job because it gives me purpose.

Yes, I am bringing it back to purpose again.  All the cool gadgets in the world cannot replace a sense of purpose in your career, and this will make the difference between a tech company who can attract and retain the best talent, and one who is constantly throwing the latest and greatest gadgets at their employees to get them to stay.

BTW, I am not saying that Tasty does not give it’s employees a sense of purpose, I don’t know, I don’t work there nor know anyone who does.

But I do know that what I do matters.  Every time I see an airplane take off from the airport near work, I know that I helped build something on it.  Maybe not that particular airplane (I have only been doing this for three years), but for at least some airplanes, I have helped to build through the parts that I have purchased.  This is an amazing thing to consider, when you know that every day there are 87,000 airplanes in the sky (30,000 commercial flights) and those flights are carrying people, packages, freight, and many other things to their destinations.  None of that would be possible without the airplane parts that I purchased.  It is an incredibly fulfilling feeling to know that.

It is so easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of your job or your place of work- the office politics, the heavy workload, the long days with little appreciation; that it is easy to lose sight of the big picture.  We build airplanes that take people to their destinations.  We build freighter airplanes that take thousands of pounds of freight to its destinations.  The iPad 2 that I received this week made it’s way to me from Hong Kong in a Fed Ex 777 Freighter that someone doing exactly what I do every day helped to build.  That sort of thinking is what brings it home.  Purpose.  It is up to you find it, but I assure you, it is there.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Red Swingline Stapler sitting on the developer’s desk.  Now THAT is the epitome of cool.  Frankly, I think everyone at my company should get a red Swingline.  It would bring that little wink and understanding nod to the everyday work that is so often sorely lacking.  It would say “Don’t take things too seriously.”  That’s a message worth sharing.

The Road to Going Pro

Originally posted 3/16/2011.

I joined Toastmasters this week.  The first meeting I ever attended was last week on the 51st floor of the Williams Building in downtown Tulsa.  I first heard of Toastmasters many years ago and had thought about joining several times in the past but never got past “that seems like a good idea,”  A few weeks ago, I was thinking about my professional goals and self-improvement and Toastmasters popped back into my head.  After a little bit of research, I found an active club nearby and decided to attend a meeting.

This week was my second meeting.  It is odd, although I was in a room comprised of complete strangers, I felt completely at ease.  A big part of that is the welcoming nature of the Toastmasters- nearly everyone introduced themselves to me either before or after the meeting and every one of them was engaging and enthusiastic about Toastmasters.  As long as I can remember, I have been skilled in speaking in front of large groups of people- much of my college career involved giving presentations and early on in my banking career I developed and presented a “Financial Info for College Students” speech and presented it to local college students during their orientation week.  During my one year of law school, I participated in a moot court competition where we received our topics of argument the day of the competition and had to research the topic and formulate an argument either for or against and compete against other students.  In the first event I ever competed in, I placed third out of a field of more than 20 students, and gave my final arguments in front of a panel of judges and a courtroom full of people.  It was nerve-wracking, and yet, I felt cool and calm and received several comments afterward about my poise and presence.  Also during my year of law school, I gave a presentation about a baseball arbitration, again arguing against other students in the class.  The arbitration I lost, but after class the teacher (a local judge) pulled me aside to tell me that in twenty years of teaching his class, he’d never seen a presentation as skilled as mine.

Why, then, am I joining a club designed to develop public speakers when my skills are already decidedly well-developed?  Because you can always get better, and despite my extensive experience thus far, there are areas I can stand to improve.  Unless I am focused on it, I make unfortunate use of non-verbals (uh, um, and).  I can also use more practice seeing what makes a good speaker great.  At some point in the future, I would like to become a professional public speaker, someone who is paid to speak to groups at conferences.  There is no better way to make the connections I will need than by joining an organization comprised entirely of public speakers.

During a Toastmaster’s meeting, the Presiding Toastmaster will address a Table Topic, often a question designed to facilitate easy discussion.  Last week it was, “What would you do with $100 million” and this week it was “If you could be any age.”  Surprisingly, the Presiding Toastmaster asked me to speak briefly on the topic at hand. While caught off guard, I recovered immediately and stood and spoke for about a minute about going back to high school and re-visiting some of the events and situations that have crafted me into the individual I am today.  I sat back down and was thrilled to receive a hearty round of applause from the group.  Later in the meeting, during the “critique” session, I was informed that I had used no non-verbals during my brief speech (whew!) and that the consensus was that my
speech was good.  I was later told that I have an excellent speakers voice and great presence in commanding the room.  To say I was beaming from this praise would be an understatement.

I will soon be sent the “Newbie Notebook” from Toastmasters and will get to progress through the ten speeches necessary to become a “Competent Communicator,” the first in a line of ever-increasingly challenging ranks achieved through giving various speeches in front of the Toastmasters or outside groups.

http://www.toastmasters.org/education

After Competent Communicator comes Advanced Communicator with ranks of Bronze, Silver and Gold before becoming a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM).  While working towards the rank of Distinguished Toastmaster,
an applicant can also apply to become an Accredited Speaker.  To date, only 60 Toastmasters have ever achieved this rank which requires having spoken at at least twenty-five non-Toastmaster speaking engagements within three years of application, and an audio presentation.  If your speech passes the first level of screening, you are invited to appear before a live review panel at an International Convention during which you will be judged.  Only a few applicants each year are awarded the level of Accredited Speaker, in fact, fewer than twenty percent of all applicants have qualified for Accredited Speaker status in the 31 years the program has existed.

http://www.toastmasters.org/asapp.asp
http://www.toastmasters.org/astips

Whether I am ever able to achieve Accredited Speaker status, I know my future lies in public speaking.  The skills I have developed on my own will only be enhanced and perfected through my involvement in Toastmasters.  My praise, while uplifting, will fade if I fail to improve.  In order to become great, I must continue to challenge myself by stepping outside of my comfort zone.  Only then, after growing as a speaker, will I be worthy of delivering a speech that people would pay to come see.  Someday soon, I hope to be the keynote speaker at a business conference near you.

What Is Purpose?

Originally posted 3/7/2011.

Saturday I brought up purpose, the third of Dan Pink’s “incentives that work” for today’s workers. Today I’d like to further investigate what purpose is and how it effects people more than money. Purpose is the idea that what you do matters, that your actions every day in your job have an effect on people and the world at large. But how do you find purpose in your day to day job? This part is all about mindset. Perhaps these three stories will help put “purpose” in perspective:

Johnny the Bagger
You have probably heard the Johnny the Bagger story before. It is a famous true story about a young man with down syndrome who found purpose in his job as a grocery store bagger through providing the best customer service he could. Johnny would insert motivational quotes into the bags of his customers telling them, “I hope you enjoy my quote of the day.” Pretty soon, everyone was waiting in Johnny’s line. They loved his quotes and enjoyed that special interaction Johnny provided.

Now, many people think this story is all about customer service, and in part it is, but it is also about finding purpose in your work, even when the work is as routine as working as a grocery store bagger. Johnny found purpose in his work, and in doing so, found far more job satisfaction and success than he ever would have had he considered the job of grocery store bagger demeaning or unimportant. Johnny proved otherwise.

Middle School Janitor
I remember another story about a middle-school janitor who took great pride in how he cleaned his school and classrooms. His reasoning was that these kids had the chance to go to school someplace that was clean, neat and tidy and that would contribute to learning, or they could go to school in a building with overflowing trash cans, dirty blackboards and grimy carpets. It was up to him to give these kids every opportunity to grow up to be successful, even though his only part in their lives was played out at night, long after the kids had left school.

Michael Gill, author of How Starbucks Saved My Life
Michael Gill is a former advertising executive who, at the age of 63, found himself unemployed, divorced and out of options. Gill ended up taking a job as a Barista at his local Starbucks and in doing so, found new purpose in his life through meaningful interactions with people on a daily basis. I read Michael Gill’s inspiring story in 2008 and was taken by how happy Gill seemed talking about his passion for a job that for many of us would seem unimportant. But to Gill, the five minutes he had with his customers was the most important part of his day- it was crucial to ensure his customers walked away having had an excellent experience.

Think about it, whether your job is the head of a corporation, a Procurement Agent buying airplane parts, the teller at a bank or the barista at a Starbucks, each of you has the opportunity each day to serve your customer in ways that will make their lives easier. Customer service is everywhere, it is not just for retail environments any more. If your job is unfulfilling, it is up to you to find something in it that will make it fulfilling. It is not your company’s responsibility to make you happy in your job. Happiness is a choice, and it is not always easy to achieve.

Now, even though it is not your employer’s responsibility to make your job enjoyable, there are things employers can (and should) do to make what is often a daily tedium more fulfilling. We will talk about some of those things in my next entry.