Face Your Fears

I recently gave a speech in my Toastmasters group called “Face Your Fears.” In it, I extolled the benefits of Toastmasters as an organization. I joined Toastmasters in March 2011 on a whim, which I detailed in this blog post from last year. I knew that while I was an adequate speaker, that I could always stand to benefit from additional practice. What I didn’t know was that I would be embarking on a yearlong journey of skill development and self reflection that would help me grow as a person.

Many people join Toastmasters as a way to get over a fear of public speaking. It has long been said that the number one fear of most people is speaking in public. On many “top fears lists,” the second fear is death. Jerry Seinfeld said it best- this means that for most people, if you have to go to a funeral, you’d rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.

But the fear of public speaking is merely the fear of the unknown. The fear of not knowing how an audience will react to your speech. Not knowing how YOU will react to standing in front of a room full of eyes looking to you to provide entertainment for the next five to seven minutes. Will you speak clearly or will your voice betray you? Will you remember your lines or will you stumble and forget… Will the audience laugh at your jokes or will you be greeted with a room full of silence?

The ONLY way to defeat this fear is through practice. Through getting up in front of a friendly group and taking your lumps. This is where Toastmasters is invaluable to so many people. I’ve visted many clubs during my year as a member of Toastmasters and each club was filled with friendly, supportive people whose sole goal in being there was to get better and to help others get better at speaking.

I’ve had my share of missteps along the way. A speech I gave on Using Visual Aids turned out terribly when my technology failed on me and I couldn’t remember my notes. I thought my Humorous Contest Speech “Idioms and Idiots” was one of the funniest things I’ve ever written and while everyone in my Toastmasters Club “got it” the laughter died off as I took the speech in front of a more varied audience. Some people just don’t get my humor. But as I said so many times in “I Want You To Fail,” failure is not a bad thing. In my case, it helped me better understand what I do during a speech and how to improve my skills. I’ve seen it do wonders for some of the people in my club who have developed into strong, confident speakers. Few things better prepare you for success than falling flat on your face. Today’s practice is tomorrow’s victory.

Once you’ve overcome your fear of public speaking, other fears seem trivial. Last summer, after giving five speeches, I completed my first triathlon– a frightening prospect only four months before. I competed in, and won, my first speaking competition and took that speech to the District level. The following spring, I won my club and area contests on the way to competing at the Divisional level. I’ve become very comfortable in front of an audience, both in a Toastmasters setting, and in the other facets of my life- at work, I can speak in front of a group of coworkers or managers without worrying whether I will say “uh.” I recently gave a toast at a good friend’s wedding and was totally confident in what I was saying.

Think about what frightens you and what you could do to overcome that fear. Are you afraid to market yourself and your skills for fear of coming off as narcissistic? What if you could learn to trumpet your successes without sounding like a total jerk? Would you do it? Are you afraid that if you try to tell jokes no one will laugh? What if you had the chance to try to see what people find funny on a weekly basis, and you could do so without the fear of telling an off-color joke in front of your boss or a client? Would you take the opportunity and run with it? Are you afraid of forgetting your words or stumbling over your tongue? What if you could stand in front of a supportive group of people every single week until you were completely comfortable standing and talking in front of anyone? Would you grab the bull by the horns?

As I said in my opening, I owe these skills to Toastmasters. Nowhere else would you get such an open, supportive community of people willing to help you and guide you and critique you to help you get better. Nowhere else would you get the chance to speak every single week. I cannot think of a single meeting where I did not get to speak, whether I was one of the speakers, an evaluator, Table Topics Master or participant- every single week provides those who attend Toastmasters the opportunity to speak, and to improve. We all have fears, and while many people succumb to those fears by never facing them, and never trying to improve, those who join have chosen the path less traveled. They have chosen to face their fears through the support network that is Toastmasters. I don’t know about anyone else, but I know my life has been enriched as a result.

Right Now Is A Bad Time to Be A Law Student

The market for law school grads is bad…very, very bad.  From a study released by the American Bar Assoc (ABA) today:

From the Wall Street Journal:

The numbers suggest the job market for law grads is worse than previously thought. Nationwide, only 55% of the class of 2011 had full-time, long-term jobs that required a law degree nine months after graduation. The ABA defines “long-term” jobs as those that don’t have a term of less than one year.

A mere fifty-five percent are employed as lawyers nine months after graduation.  I will also tell you that, in 2009 when I entered law school, the economy was not great and the people in my class were just hoping that it would be better three years down the road. “I’ll just wait it out” was a common statement.  Well, for those who waited it out, I’m very sorry for you, and I wish you luck.  For anyone thinking about going to law school right now, unless you can get in to one of the top 10 schools in the country, I’d recommend an alternative career path.

Watching Yourself On Video & Division Competition This Weekend!

I know it’s been a month since I last blogged anything. Since winning the Area Speech Contest, I’ve been traveling around to different Toastmasters Clubs in my area to practice my speech. I believe the additional stage time has been helpful as I get ready for the Division Competition this weekend! One of the things that has been a huge help to me has been videotaping my speeches for later review. I get a chance to see what I look like from the audience’s perspective, as well as being able to go back and critique myself. One of the best ways to get better is by being your own toughest critic. I can honestly say that each time I’ve given the speech I have found something else I want to change, and while the structure of the speech is still very similar to where it started, there are dozens of small changes I have made to make it better.

If you want to be a great speaker, you’ve got to be your own toughest critic. Don’t be afraid to videotape yourself. You will probably be amazed by what you see. I remember watching several of my speech videos from last year and being just shocked by some of the things I was doing without even realizing it. Some examples:

1.) Pushing the sleeves up on my sweater over and over again. I never noticed it, but going back and watching the video made me realize I was doing it unconsciously and that it was VERY distracting. I won’t wear a sweater for a speech any more for this very reason.
2.) Adjusting my glasses. Another nervous tic- I was reaching up and adjusting my glasses back on my nose every 15-20 seconds. Again, I had no idea, but the video doesn’t lie.
3.) Rubbing my hands together.
4.) Looking at the ground.
5.) Jokes that didn’t go over.
and many, many more things.

Videotaping has also allowed me to see what DOES work in a speech. My hand gestures, eye contact, vocal variety- all of these are examples of things I see and want to continue doing or emphasizing because they are especially effective.

Speaking to an audience comes naturally to me, but it has also been the product of a lot of practice and criticism. I try to watch every speech I have given four or five times to catch my mistakes and look for places to improve. If you want to become a better speaker, practice and stage time is crucial, but so is being able to go back and critique yourself. It is uncomfortable at first, but just like a professional golfer watching her swing or a football player watching game film, watching tape of yourself speak is crucial to improving.

I’ve uploaded several of the videos I have taken over the last month so that I can watch them anywhere. I’m happy to share them with you as well.

Last note, the Division Competition is this weekend!  I will be sure to post the results here!

And The Winner Is…

First Prize!

I won! Next up is the Divisional Contest on April 21st. Hopefully the video I take will be of a better quality than this one. I set my camera up in the back of the room and didn’t realize that it would only pick up about half of the audio.

Lots of things to work on, but I’m thrilled to have won!  If you’re interested, I embedded my video below. It is about 7 minutes long.

I Did It Again

I won another speaking contest in Toastmasters. This time, I am competing in Toastmasters’ annual Inspirational Speaking Contest. This competition, much like the Humorous Speech Contest, starts at the club level and goes to Area, Divisional, District, Semifinal and culminates in the World Championship of Public Speaking at the International Convention in August. I have some video of my qualifying speech, but I won’t post it here because I’d like to wait until I compete in the Area contest first. Speaking of which, the Area contest is this weekend.

My speech topic was on failure, and why it is not a bad thing. Too many people are afraid of failure, of being thought of as a failure, that they never venture out of their comfort zone. They worry that their failures will define them. But history is filled with a great many famous failures. I speak about Abraham Lincoln, who failed at running a business, failed in the military and lost twelve different elections prior to being elected President. I discuss Walt Disney, who was fired from his job at a newspaper because the editor thought he “lacked creativity.” I discuss Michael Jordan who, in his own words, “failed over and over and over again.” Did you know that Jordan wasn’t even picked to be on his high school’s varsity team? His coach told him that he wasn’t talented enough!

Failing is not a bad thing. It happens to everyone and so long as you learn from that failure, you can build on it in your next venture. Often, I see people afraid to make a decision or stick their neck out for fear of failure. However, would they only take that first step, they might find out that even if they do fail, they are even closer to their goals. A failure in the right direction is still getting you closer to your goal, even if you fail.

I challenge you, reader, go out there today and fail. For it may well bring you closer to success.